Gay Trans Guys

:)

Yello! I’m David Everett. I’m an FTM and gay. :)

looking to meet new friends, if you want, hit me up? x

Anonymous asked: Hi, I'm the previous anon. Thank you for the clarification, I'm sorry for the misunderstandings, I have to edit down a LOT to get in under the character limit, it's tough! It sounds like it's just the -terms- were what you were talking about rather than actual attraction, which makes sense to me. I don't do hookups or dating in this way so I honestly have never dealt with these ads or terms before (and wouldn't), but have had people I'm not attracted to act entitled to my body and... (1/2 cont.)

Hey Anon, I waited a couple days to see if 2/2 showed up but it hasn’t. We only have 1/2. 

I’m not sure what else you had to share, but yes, my point (and it’s not just my point, I’m echoing lots of other voices on this) is that publicly stating exclusionary requirements and preferences is rude and has a negative cumulative effect on those in marginalized groups.

It’s worse when it uses slurs, like “no flamers” and “no fatties” and “no rice” - but it’s never polite, even when worded politely, like “people who take care of themselves” and “aesthetic preference for lighter skin and lighter eyes.” It still makes the fat guy who’s been jogging and dieting for 8 years feel like shit, it still makes anyone with a moderately dark complexion feel like shit, because it’s just another racist in disguise.

Anonymous asked: The "no chubs/femmes" thing: IMO there's a huge difference between that and blatant racism? Personally, I have eating disorder issues and abuse history. I think it would trigger me having to touch a fat body intimately. I'm not going to shame someone over it (it's their body), but I don't think I could date them, I can barely deal with my OWN body. I'm pretty tiny/femmey and get that not all dudes will be into that either. It seems strange to expect everyone to be attracted to everything?

Check your logic, Anon, where was I insisting that everyone be attracted to everyone?

I, nor anyone else who points this paradigm out, is trying to hold a gun to your head and make you have sex with anyone you don’t want to. I can’t put them in order of what’s more offensive, that’s too subjective. The takeaway here is that they ALL have the power to ruin a stranger’s day. Even if you could objectively ascribe that “no fats” is less offensive than “no blacks” in every instance, does that mean that “no fats” is not offensive and therefore totally okay to say?

We’re just making the RADICAL suggestion that you write a simple ad that doesn’t include any “no” statements, and when you get responses to it, you simply IGNORE those who don’t fit your preference. I do it all the time! I’m not into everyone under the sun, but I don’t make exclusions in my ads, and when I’m not into someone, I just don’t answer.

That way, you haven’t made anyone feel like shit that day.

For a discussion of preferences vs. requirements, please refer to these previous posts: http://gaytransguys.tumblr.com/search/preference

Sure, not everyone is into your type, not everyone is into any type, but unless you have the experience day in and day out of seeing “no skinny guys” in more than half of every personal ad you read, you really don’t understand the cumulative effect that all these “preferences” have on the psyches of marginalized people.

Stating the obvious, but…

I feel like I see “no chubs” as often as I used to see “no BBW” - that is to say, a LOT.

I’m not alone though… “no chubs” is usually accompanied by “no fems” and/or “no blacks.”

And that ubiquitous “sorry, just a preference” bullshit.

Anonymous asked: Do you think that the technology will ever be available to help transmen have a dick like average cisman size? (Sorry I don't know how else to phrase this! And I'm really nervous because I want to have a penis? But I don't want it to be tiny. Sorry! And your blog is so helpful... Thank you.)

Well, I really hope so. What I would like to see developed is a way to localize a hormone’s influence on cells - like the ability to use high dose testosterone on JUST the erectile clitoral tissue so that it grows to an average cis penis size, without influencing the testosterone levels in the rest of the body. That seems like the best approach vs. using other body tissues to create a phallus (phalloplasty). Or maybe there’s a possibility of micro surgery improving to the point where they can remove the dense nerve fibers in the clitoral tissue and position them evenly across the outside of a phalloplasty, so that the sensation feels much closer to that of having a cis penis.

With so many FTMs choosing to physically transition now, I can only imagine that medical treatments will continue to improve. I don’t think it will be in time for my sex life, but maybe in time for yours.

Phalloplasties, although not perfect, are pretty good these days. Don’t give up on your research into phalloplasty if having an average size penis is a serious matter for you.

lymphare asked: I would like to go on hormones sometime in the future, mostly because I want a dick. But my clitoris is tiny. Really, really tiny. I've slept with enough FAAB people to be able to make a decent comparison, and I'm worried that even with T I'd wind up with just a normal-size clit instead of getting big enough for a cock. Does starting size make that much of a difference?

Just like cis guys, we’re all differently endowed.

I know it can be intimidating when most of the “after T” pictures you see are usually guys who know they’re pretty well endowed, and the pictures are also frequently taken right after pumping.

Don’t assume that the pictures you see represent the variety of endowments that trans guys have in the real world.

I’m not particularly well hung for a trans guy myself, and options are honestly limited. I’m not a doctor, but I’m fairly certain that starting size is indicative of size after T. Dick growth, although the most dramatic growth happens in the first 6 months, does continue for up to the first 5 years on T however.

Another thing to remember, though, is that even guys with the most dramatic growth often still feel inadequate, because T just can’t grow you an average cis guy sized cock.

T does so much more than just dick growth though. Consider everything T can do for you overall when deciding if T is the right choice for you personally.

twilightblaze13 asked: I was wondering what kind of piercings don't hinder passing. would multiple ear piercings (say, three on one ear) going to make someone (generally speaking) look girly, even if they wore masculine earrings? what about cartilage piercings? I'm not going to gauge my ears because I don't want to get fired (and don't particularly like the look anyway), but I am curious about how much getting a couple more piercings would screw me over passing-wise.

Wow, I’m really not sure how to answer this.

I generally don’t endorse strict passing advice of any kind. I recommend getting things right like belts and ties just to look GOOD, because if you’re gonna wear something, you should wear it well. But I generally don’t believe in long lists of what looks masculine or feminine because someone’s demeanor makes everything subjective.

I think plain stainless steel CBRs in a 12 gauge or higher would be pretty safe and conservative on anyone. But I’ve known goth guys with a chain of small gauge hoops down the entirety of both ears, and I don’t think anyone misgendered them.

I think perception of piercings as feminine is a regional thing - one of those goth guys with all the earrings and long black hair might get misgendered in rural Alabama but not in Baltimore.

I don’t think any specific piercing is going to make the difference in passing vs not passing.

Does anyone have advice on this for OP?