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Anons

If you submit a question as Anon, there’s no way for me to “answer your question privately” if you request it, since I have no contact info and have no idea who you are. The “answer privately” option only works if I can see your URL, and then the answer goes only to you. I can only answer Anons by posting them to this blog with an answer, which is obviously public.

I got several of those and I don’t want to publicly post your personal question, but also have no way to answer you otherwise.

Gay Trans Guys

Anonymous said: Is there any ftms in northern Utah?? I can't find any....

I don’t know, probably, do any follow the blog? Reblog if you are!

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View 3002 photos and videos from Folsom Street Fair - Folsom Street - San Francisco, CA on 9/21/2014

I need to find a way to go to this next time, life is short.

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"I'm A Guy"

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Gay Trans Guys

Anonymous said: I just wanted to thank you for this blog. It makes me feel so much less alone. Are there any other blogs you know of that are specifically for gay trans guys, on or off tumblr? There are so many trans guy blogs, but so few are for those of us who are into other guys primarily or totally (I am the latter). Thanks.

I don’t really know of any other general gay trans guys blogs, but I know of many blogs by gay trans guys. Usually searching the “gay ftm” tag does a pretty good job.

And thank you so much for telling me! I’m glad.

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Gay Trans Guys

Anonymous said: hey im sorry to ask but do you know how to deal with dysphoria sorry for asking

That’s a very tough and broad question, because ways to cope with physical dysphoria and social dysphoria are different.

Here are some helpful links:

How To Cope With Gender Dysphoria on WikiHow

25 Things I Do To Make My Body Dysphoria Smaller

How Do I Deal With Dysphoria? from Neutrois Nonsense

Dysphoria and Anxiety video

These should offer some help.

Never feel bad about asking for help! Asking for help is important.

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How this cute gay trans/cis couple met

Here is another gay cis/trans couple. They have a channel, and a baby :D Check out the other videos. Anon 23

Thank you for all the submissions, Anon23!

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Gay Trans Guys

Anonymous said: Im 18 and pre-everything and I want to join grindr to meet other gay guys, but I dont know if it is appropriate for me to bc i havent had top surgery or started t. Do you think it is okay?

Of course it’s okay, it’s just a phone app. There are no Grindr police… anymore. They used to delete trans profiles, but not anymore after they got called out. Of course, if someone finds you or your profile obnoxious for any reason at all, they can “report” you, and enough of those can get you blocked. So there’s always the vague chance that a couple transphobes could decide to report you, but then you just make another profile. It’s not a big deal, honestly.

Grindr is helpful in learning how to communicate with other men in a male space if you have no other experience.

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Gay Trans Guys

Anonymous said: i'm nathan i identify my self as a gay man i just turn 18 this year i'm from Jacksonville i'm really sorry if i waste your time but please hear me out i know i am a transman but sometimes i like to dress up in girl clothes i just really hate knowing that i will never have a male body i feel like a dyke even when i do dress up as a guy i'm not even in to woman why should i have to be force to feel this way i just want clothes that don't make me look like a dyke or feel like one please help

Nathan, you state that you identify as a gay man, and you’re not into women, so it sounds like you have a strong sense of self. And also, it’s pretty normal to still want to put on the kinds of clothes you’ve worn for your whole life - I still like to look at the handbag department sometimes, just because I appreciate them aesthetically.

I think with your strong sense of self, you will find that, with time, dressing in men’s clothes will make you feel less like a “dyke” and more like yourself because you will stop seeing yourself in the way you presume others do, and you will start to see yourself from within. I encourage occupying a transmasculine space by wearing the clothes you feel comfortable in without worrying about conforming to any prescriptive barrier. You will figure out what you need to be comfortable by giving it time.

There’s no guarantee that you’ll figure it out, of course, these are just my observations from my own experience and that of others, but I think that giving it some time and wearing what you like will help.

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I keep forgetting how hard it is for me to talk to trans guys who aren’t part of/haven’t interacted with the gay male community

NotAiden about being between the trans and gay male community, and that things are a lot more complicated than “gay men are all transphobic assholes” “The reality is that for trans men with strong gay male identities there aren’t many places we can go.  We’re not straight.  We’re not cis.  Many of us are not gender conforming.” And we don’t mingle well with the ftm communities that formed out of  “former lesbians” who transitioned, and who often prefer to date each other; they often go to gay male spaces more like tourists, without really understanding the history of gay male spaces.

Blog admin’s note: Thank you for sharing his experiences, Anon23! I can’t say that I have had the same ones, I’ve experienced more transphobia in gay spaces, but that’s probably because about half of all the trans guys in my peer groups are also gay or bi or pan, so it’s pretty accepted.